New theory! To go along with "Celery is Nature's Spoon" and "You Cannot Rhyme, Nor Go Wrong, With Orange." You know that feeling when you first wake up? The one where you're like, "Man, it's (ungodly hour) already? Sigh." Then you kind of just rub your eyes and look around for a bit, maybe you start to plan out your day or figure out what to wear. The sun is peeking through the windows and you're starting to focus on the ceiling and there is a little dot and you kind of feel like it is moving but you aren't really sure but thenOHMYGOSH is that a spider?!? It's amazing how fast you'll get up. Spiders are nature's alarm clock!
My friends are so funny...
Me: Steve, did you leave a comment on my blog?
Steve: No. Maybe you have a stalker?
Me: Oh, like that guy that is looking in my window?
Steve: No, there's no one else out here.
(I went and checked too, just Steve in his usual spot. And Edward.)
My favorite things to exclaim just because they make no sense and make me laugh:
- "PANIC AT THE DISCO!" (it's kind of like "Everybody act cool!")
- "Wait!" (then whisper under your breath) "...they don't love you like I love you." (Particularly when someone is leaving but will be returning shortly, like to get a cup of coffee or something out of the printer.)
- "New York London Paris Munich!" (This one subs in nicely for the more common "Jesus, Mary and Joseph")
You know what else is my favorite? Animals. Animals are my favorite food.
Don't you hate when you pull up to a destination right as an awesome song comes on the radio and you're bummed to get out of the car? That sucks. Do I sit here and listen to it? Do I just go to my destination and download it off the interweb because it's 2010 and we can all just instantly have what we want? Life is so hard.
You know what is awesome? When you pull up to your destination just as a song is ending, and you shut off the radio just as the last note plays. It's just a happy, satisfactory sense of completion. Like a scene in a movie. So then you pretend you're in a movie scene and you go to get out of your car as if you're being filmed and then you dramatically walk towards your destination, occasionally looking sideways off in the distance, your gait a little wider, your hair blowing back, you take off your sunglasses and look down as you're walking up the stairs in slow motion like there is...oh, just me? Only I do that? Alrighty.