So I was shooting the crap with a good friend the other day and he was discussing how some of his best comedy/story/blog ideas come to him in his sleep, but that he always forgets them after he wakes up. The conversation went like this, "I had a dream I wrote the FUNNIEST blog post for you the other day...but I forget what it was about...I think it had to do with Styrofoam."
I encouraged him to keep a notebook by his bed, a la Jerry Seinfeld, but that is way too much work. I mean, turning on the light, sitting up AND writing?
And then we thought of it. Eureka’s castle! A dream recorder! More specifically, a Sony Dream Recorder (much like Mike Birbiglia's Sony Teleporter).
Somewhat "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but with dreams instead of memories. You wake up and view your dreams on a screen. Rewinding..fast forwarding..erasing..saving until I delete...a DVR for dreams. The awesomeness of this is astounding. The blackmail potential if it ended up in the wrong hands? Endless.
Someone make this happen.
But a fun Lisa fact is that I don't actually sleep, so this wonderful invention wouldn’t even be of use to me. I have horrible insomnia and a remarkable tolerance for terrible late night/early morning television....BUT I used to sleep..and I used to have dreams...and they were always the same.
1) The power of flight. I could fly. It was great. A much preferred mode of travel. It was flying..but more like swimming through the air. I would start walking to school...only I would run a few steps, jump...and swim/fly, occasionally resting on a tree branch when I needed a break. Even in my dreams, I am out of shape and lazy.
2) Spitting out my teeth. I'm pretty sure this portends some sort of illness (grrrrreat) but I would be sitting reading a book or knitting or doing some other mindless task…and then would start spitting out my teeth like marbles. It was so weird. I used to have that dream all the time..then I got really sick. No, just kidding..that last part didn't happen....*cough*
3) My knees give out. The complete opposite of my awesome flying skill dream is when I try to run, walk or climb stairs, and I can’t stand up, so I kind of crawl..ish. It’s not like a sudden injury..it’s just how I walked. This also doesn’t seem like it could have possibly come from a positive place…I’m sure lacking the ability to stand up is not indicative of “a sudden cash windfall” or “overcoming an obstacle at work.”
So tell me your dreams. No, not like aspirations and crap. I just don’t have the desire to play along, sitting here being all “if you put your mind to it..” or “everything happens for a reason…” or “shoot for the moon and if you miss you land among the stars blah blah blah.” I mean like actual dreams. Like that nightmare where you give a class presentation but you aren’t wearing pants…or you’re running through the woods because you’re being chased by a chainsaw wielding madman (scary!)…or you move in with your boyfriend and then move out two months later (Yikes! I’ll take the madman!) So..dream a little dream for me…..
I encouraged him to keep a notebook by his bed, a la Jerry Seinfeld, but that is way too much work. I mean, turning on the light, sitting up AND writing?
And then we thought of it. Eureka’s castle! A dream recorder! More specifically, a Sony Dream Recorder (much like Mike Birbiglia's Sony Teleporter).
Somewhat "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but with dreams instead of memories. You wake up and view your dreams on a screen. Rewinding..fast forwarding..erasing..saving until I delete...a DVR for dreams. The awesomeness of this is astounding. The blackmail potential if it ended up in the wrong hands? Endless.
Someone make this happen.
But a fun Lisa fact is that I don't actually sleep, so this wonderful invention wouldn’t even be of use to me. I have horrible insomnia and a remarkable tolerance for terrible late night/early morning television....BUT I used to sleep..and I used to have dreams...and they were always the same.
1) The power of flight. I could fly. It was great. A much preferred mode of travel. It was flying..but more like swimming through the air. I would start walking to school...only I would run a few steps, jump...and swim/fly, occasionally resting on a tree branch when I needed a break. Even in my dreams, I am out of shape and lazy.
2) Spitting out my teeth. I'm pretty sure this portends some sort of illness (grrrrreat) but I would be sitting reading a book or knitting or doing some other mindless task…and then would start spitting out my teeth like marbles. It was so weird. I used to have that dream all the time..then I got really sick. No, just kidding..that last part didn't happen....*cough*
3) My knees give out. The complete opposite of my awesome flying skill dream is when I try to run, walk or climb stairs, and I can’t stand up, so I kind of crawl..ish. It’s not like a sudden injury..it’s just how I walked. This also doesn’t seem like it could have possibly come from a positive place…I’m sure lacking the ability to stand up is not indicative of “a sudden cash windfall” or “overcoming an obstacle at work.”
So tell me your dreams. No, not like aspirations and crap. I just don’t have the desire to play along, sitting here being all “if you put your mind to it..” or “everything happens for a reason…” or “shoot for the moon and if you miss you land among the stars blah blah blah.” I mean like actual dreams. Like that nightmare where you give a class presentation but you aren’t wearing pants…or you’re running through the woods because you’re being chased by a chainsaw wielding madman (scary!)…or you move in with your boyfriend and then move out two months later (Yikes! I’ll take the madman!) So..dream a little dream for me…..
9 comments:
Two nights ago I had a dream that I was put on an island with a bunch of my closest friends and couldn't leave until there was only one person remaining. So we were all confused at why this would be an actual situation. M16s were passed out and we were thrown out into the forest. Everyone stopped and decided to boycott the contest, beginning to brainstorm on how to successfully escape. Seconds later I began to run and everyone watched me perplexed. Then behind me was a giant explosion as I had pulled the pin out of a grenade and left it in the middle of them all.....needless to say, I have all the qualities of a good friend.
P.S. I like to think they all survived and forgave me and took it as a harmless joke...but I am confident a lot of confirmed kills piled up that day.
P.S.S. The best part of the dream was when I was carried off the island in a helicopter, right into the sunset. Happy ending? You bet.
You ever have the dream/nightmare where you're about to be or are in prison and are looking at like 10-20 years? (Thankfully I haven't had the LIFE sentence in a dream yet; my subconscious doesn't hate me that much yet.) It's the absolute worst feeling in the world. I recently had a dream where a buddy and I killed a guy (motives unclear), and were about to be arrested. I knew it was all over for me, years of my life were about to be thrown away and then... Bam! I'm awake! Viva life!
It's one of those dreams that are absolute hell but when you wake up you're so incredibly relieved that you're almost glad you had the nightmare. It's a much better dream than the "I-have-to-do-something-but-unforeseen-and-annoying-circumstances-are-forbidding-me-from-doing-it" dream, which serve only to annoy the hell out of you.
I've had the "I need to be somewhere but 900 random things are happening that keep me from getting there on time" dream just about every night dating back to the first day of school, 1988.
Recently I had a dream that my boyfriend decided to buy ectasy in a parking lot of a once popular arcade in Tewksbury. I was FLOORED by this because said boyfriend had never even smoked a cigarette and he just decides to jump right to ectasy. Plus, does anyone even do ectasy anymore? Wasn't that so 1999? Anyhow I'm freaking out and everyone is all "chill out, dude" or "lighten up" as I'm all "drugs are for high school kids not grown ups." Finally my boyfriend somehow transforms magically into my EX boyfriend, who actually was a habitual drug user! Mystery solved! But I woke up the next morning being legitimately angry at him even though in the end he was innocent. Me waking up angry at him for something he pulled in my dream is pretty much a weekly occurence though.
Girls are crazy.
I had a recurring dream as a kid/high schooler that I was a Ghostbuster and I found out my parents were ghosts. I ended up having to trap them in those little boxes. When I'd wake up the next day I'd be uneasy around my mom for about 2 minutes while I snapped out of it.
And then there was that time I shot for the moon, missed, and landed amongst the stars.
Actually, I didn't so much "land" as I "crashed into one of the points of the star crotch-first". Not my finest moment.
AHHH I have the teeth falling out dream too its freaky... that weird. TTYL
I'm sure no one is surprised to hear that I had a dream about golf. Shocking, I know. But this one was great in that I was playing golf with Tiger Woods, who apparently was also one of my best friends as well. So I was playing golf with him, but at the same time we were shooting the breeze and busting each other's balls. I was also a much better golfer in my dream than I was in person. Now this is not the weirdest dream (not even in the top 100) that I've ever had, but Lisa encouraged me to join the group so I'm taking the plunge. As I become more comfortable, I'll share more. I see some friendly faces already, which is nice.....
I have this one recurring dream...
I grind my teeth until they shatter and turn into white powder in my mouth...
Now that I think about it, it's probably time to ask my dentist for a mouth guard, as I'm sure the dream is the fantasy version of the actual grinding I'm doing in my sleep thanks to a boat-load of work-related stress...
Oh yeah, and then Keith Richards snorts my powdered teeth. Ok. Ok. That didn't actually happen, but that would be pretty awesome! Hey, he snorted his dad's ashes, so I figure anything is possible, especially in dreams.
I had this recurring dream for years where I'd be trying to go up the staircase in my house (which is kind of creepy in real life) and i'd look down and this knight in full battle armor would be standing there, presumably to kill me. And no matter how fast i tried to run, id be stuck in a crawl and could barely move. He never moved, and I never died, but it was friggin terrifying. To this day I can't walk up said staircase with the lights off.
I blame the "Don't Eat The Pictures," that Sesame Street movie when they're trapped in the museum over night and there's like an egyptian prince and its all dark all the time, which remains the most terrifying movie ever made.
Jim henson got his.
The worst dream I ever had was also one of the more vivid and life-like dreams I've ever had. Let me sum it up like this: Rick Ocasek, the lead singer of the Cars, was chasing me because he wanted to kill me and take my Nintendo. I could not make this up on my best day. He chased me all through the streets of some major metropolitan area, all the while wearing the outfit and sunglasses from the "You Might Think" video, which I LOVED... until this night. In the dream he eventually caught up to me and attempted to kill me by putting a sponge, which I can only assume he took from my kitchen because it looked like every sponge my mother ever had, soaked in acid on my back. It was at this point I woke up screaming. After having many years to think about it, there are so many holes in the plot of this dream.
He could afford 1000 Nintendos, so he didn't need mine.
Why did I have my Nintendo on me? It wasn't exactly pocket-size. I don't think it had the controllers with it either, so he would have had to purchase those separately. I'm also assuming he had some games at home, otherwise what's the point?
I doubt he goes for a run in jeans and a leather jacket, whether for exercise or murder.
How did the sponge survive the acid so well intact?
Why acid to begin with? Its just seems an odd choice for killing someone. You can't keep an acid soaked sponge in your pocket, so he must have some sort of apparatus that he was carrying it in. That's alot of work.
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