If you know me, you know that my favorite food in the whole world...is hot dogs. I know. I'm a classy broad. I'm confident enough to stand by my food choices. "Eww, do you know what goes in those?" Yes, yes I do, and I love love love it! You could tell me the secret ingredients are puppies or dead fairies and I would still order two at Fenway. Actually, I love dead fairies, make that three.
(Of note: The people that usually laugh and snark-ily respond "that's wicked classy, Lisa" are also the very same people I watch stumble around drunk on weekends, wearing less-than-enough clothing and launching themselves at guys in bars like Scud missiles, with equally destructive results...so who's classy now? Go home to your wine and cats....but I digress...)
Pizza is a close second. If pizza was nominated by the whole world as "best food ever" I would fully understand. I would stand up and clap my hands in support and praise as Pizza went on stage and accepted the award at the Food Ceremony, crying pepperoni tears and talking about how all the time spent rising and being beaten down was totally worth it.
I think potato chips might be number three. We've already discussed my love of chips and dip, perhaps too much. Perhaps that's why I'm single?
There is a noticeable absence of chocolate or any kind of sweets on this list and I don't really have a reason. It's always kind of been that way. When I die, I want to be buried in a casket filled with potato chips that I can eat on my way to Hot Dog Heaven where I will meet up with Pizza and he'll introduce me to his friend, Meatball Sub...and we'll all sit down and have steak.
What are the five foods you'll meet in heaven?
(Of note: The people that usually laugh and snark-ily respond "that's wicked classy, Lisa" are also the very same people I watch stumble around drunk on weekends, wearing less-than-enough clothing and launching themselves at guys in bars like Scud missiles, with equally destructive results...so who's classy now? Go home to your wine and cats....but I digress...)
Pizza is a close second. If pizza was nominated by the whole world as "best food ever" I would fully understand. I would stand up and clap my hands in support and praise as Pizza went on stage and accepted the award at the Food Ceremony, crying pepperoni tears and talking about how all the time spent rising and being beaten down was totally worth it.
I think potato chips might be number three. We've already discussed my love of chips and dip, perhaps too much. Perhaps that's why I'm single?
There is a noticeable absence of chocolate or any kind of sweets on this list and I don't really have a reason. It's always kind of been that way. When I die, I want to be buried in a casket filled with potato chips that I can eat on my way to Hot Dog Heaven where I will meet up with Pizza and he'll introduce me to his friend, Meatball Sub...and we'll all sit down and have steak.
What are the five foods you'll meet in heaven?
9 comments:
Wow, the 5 foods you'll meet in heaven - Mitch Albom for the morbidly obese...
I don't know about five... but my number one food is peanut butter. I dig the PB. But not just any kind, if we're boiling it down (food reference... a little inside, I know) to favorites, it's gotta be Reese's. Have you had a Big Cup yet? It's what I imagine sex on E is like. Once you've had a Big Cup, you can never go back to the regular old Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups. What's the point? It's not even close to as good. You might as well bang the piece of candy, which is much what I expect regular sex to feel like after having sex on E.
Wow, reese's and sex... A better combo than chocolate and peanut butter? I'm not so sure, but the commercials would be better.
I'm drunk, by the way.
I'm in full support of the foods you've chosen to highlight. Pizza has to be up high on the list based on its versatility. Hot dogs are absolutely delicious and are the #1 sign that the summer is upon us, outside of Memorial Day and inappropriately short skirts at work.
I'd have to give a nod to my go-to choice when dining out - chicken parm. Not only is chicken parm DELICIOUS when paired with some ziti, but it's even better when draped in extra cheese and thrown between a soft sub roll.
On the candy/dessert front, I will second Pat's choice of Reese's. There is no better pairing in this world than chocolate and peanut butter. Do not challenge me on this because you will lose. The folks at Reese's were truly ahead of their time when they decided to put these two treats together.
This blog was definitely a bad idea late in the afternoon. I can't wait to eat my half chicken parm half hotdog pizza after work.
Kudos on the wine/cat comment. Brilliant.
I'm right with you on the hot dogs, Lisa. The best part of the hot dog, in my opinion, is the toasted bun (always toasted, must be toasted), which you then dip not in ketchup, not mustard, but baked bean sauce for the perfect blending of flavors. I think someone should sell baked bean sauce without the beans; that way I could cut out the beans and just have fries to go with my hot dogs and baked beans sauce. Now THAT is what having sex on E must be like.
And what a timely blog post - this past Tuesday night I pounded three dogs covered in baked beans in about 10 minutes. My roommates looked on in horror. I told them to go home to their wine and cats.
This is a a tough call for me. Picking 5 favorite foods? Do 5 pieces of pizza count? It breaks down like this for me:
1)Pizza. Nothing makes me feel better than good pizza. Not that gourmet crap with a whole tomato baked under the cheese. I'm talking thin, greasy, pepperoni pizza. Pizza is even better the next day too.
2)Hot dogs. This was tough because I'm almost always pair a hot dog with a cheeseburger at a cookout, and cheeseburger could have slid up to #2. However, I realized the one thing I ALWAYS pair with a hot dog... is another hot dog. I have to have 2, so it's #2 on my list.
3)Cheeseburger. Coming in at #3 does not mean that I don't love me a good cheeseburger (hamburgers are unacceptable for anyone other than the lactose intolerant).
4)Steak. Steak tips, Filet Mignon, Porterhouse, New York sirloin... call it what you want, but just cook it up medium well and give me some A1 and back the F off.
5)Tacos. Actually, any of the Mexican dishes that contain the same ingredients but have different names count here. Burritos? Yes. Chimichangas? Yes. Enchiladas? Hells to the yes.
I pretty much agree with everything you stated in this entry. However, I do have to include anything Mexican and all chocolate...white, dark, pink, or milk. I love it and would like to jump into a pool of Hershey Dark Chocolate kisses eating a chicken parm sub with extra cheese and sauce.
I forgot to mention that my casket, although filled with potato chips, will be made out of bacon.
Cake. The path to heaven will be paved in cake. Pound cake, angel food cake, layer cake, fruit cake and cupcakes. Okay, maybe not fruit cake. Gross.
May I make a recommendation for a lunchtime dog stop? And, no, I don't mean the guy at the Home Depot selling dogs...although there is nothing wrong with him. Whoever sad hot dogs aren't classy needs to visit the Weenie Wagon in Wellesley, Mass. I highly suggest the Daily Double: 2 steamed dogs with the perfect snap when you take a bite, a bag of chips and a soft drink of your liking--all for $5. NICE! Right off of Route 16 in an old timey truck with a green umbrella. Very friendly service as well. Enjoy the snap!
Dead faeries. Brilliant.
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