As you may know, if you have followed my blog from the beginning or read all my posts because you’re a new friend or a stalker, I have theories. Most notably, celery is nature’s spoon.
I wanted to share another theory with you all. Maybe because it’s Halloween time? Maybe because Jim hates red Mike & Ikes? Maybe because I AM glad you didn’t say banana?Here it is: You Cannot Rhyme, Nor Go Wrong, With Orange
Think of a fruit candy. Here, I’ll do it for you: Skittles, Starbursts, Runts, Gummi Bears, Those Jelly Things Covered In Sugar, jelly beans and so on.
You might have a favorite color/flavor that varies based on the candy. But you know what? Orange is always orange, and orange is always good.
Red? Could be cherry, fruit punch, strawberry, watermelon…..
Green? Could be lime, also could be watermelon (WHAT? I know)…..
Yellow? TOTAL CRAP SHOOT. Could be lemon, could be banana, could be pina colada even if you’re not caught in the rain….
But orange? It’s orange. It tastes like oranges. It’s good. It might not be your favorite and get all the glory (I’m looking at you, flashy pink Starbursts) but orange is always orange, and orange is always good.
And since I’m dropping knowledge up in this piece….
(Keeping in mind, this is coming from someone who previously held the self-imposed title of “heavyweight champion” but now I live by one simple rule…one rule to rule them all…and my life is forever changed.)
Ready?
A SANDWICH IS NOT A SNACK.
Seriously. If you’re in between meals, you can’t just eat a fluffernutter. That is a meal, not a snack.
Sure, there are plenty of little changes a person can make to get healthier. Switch to skim milk. Choose whole grain bread (now with more seeds!). Not assume a box of macaroni and cheese is one serving even though it all fits quite neatly into a one bowl.
But if you’re looking for a snack….don’t eat a sandwich. That is a meal, not a snack. Oreos, despite being a sandwich cookie, are a snack.
And a hot dog is a sandwich. Yeah, I just blew your mind.
Namaste.
3 comments:
Another winner.
I have an theory about orange too. It's that orange is an example of onomatoseeia - which describes something which is its own definition. There are lots of words that make you think of things - boat, cup, battery, leaf, grudge, monkey - but orange is unique. It's a very good work. I am going to drink some orange soda to celebrate its awesomeness.
You just ruined my day by saying a hotdog is a sandwich, since I eat at least three or four in one sitting.
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