Acting is difficult. It truly is a craft. I really believe that some people pour themselves into roles, get into character and become who they are selected to portray. It is very difficult. I totally can’t do it.Take my friend Andy, for example. He has the most ridiculously awesome sideburn/chops going on right now, just for a role. They are outrageous. Seriously. The kid looks like Wolverine. And he has a day job…he works in finance! Can you imagine handing over your finances to a kid that looks like Wolverine?
(In fact, I think I might prefer to hand my finances over to Wolverine, as opposed to any middle-aged white guy in a suit. Why? Because those are the assholes that seem to be robbing people. Have you turned on the news lately? You don’t see any of the X-Men conducting pyramid schemes. You only see them fighting crime. “Never trust a salt and pepper haired white guy in a suit and trench coat with your money” has become my new “never trust a big butt and a smile.”)
You know who is totally not a master of her craft? Julia Roberts. Holy crap.
That woman plays the same character every single time. I can’t believe she keeps getting cast in movies.
She has a new movie coming out with Clive Owen and it’s called “Duplicity.” Fitting, considering she just basically duplicates all of her previous characters.
If, IF, I ever decided to see that movie (which would totally not be in the theater, but for hypothetical purposes we’ll say I got it on NetFlix…wayyyy down in the queue) I would not be the LEAST bit surprised if her corporate spy character actually used to be a high priced (but with a heart of gold) prostitute who got to retire from the corner after she took down a big corporation for giving low-income people cancer through the water. This of course would be where she got all of her savvy to take on a casino not once but twice…clearly overcompensating for her heart being broken by her best friend at his wedding.
I bet at some point in this new movie, she opens her mouth really wide and does a one syllable “HA!” laugh because she’s really surprised at something that was said.
I’m just guessing.
Additional random thoughts:
- Four minutes = total duration of phone call with my Mum yesterday. 93 = total number of times she said “be careful!” before she hung up. Be careful of what? The world?
- Sometimes I wonder if the people that work at the convenience store near my apartment think I’m a phenomenal athlete because I am constantly in there in the morning buying Gatorade. The real reason is that I drank too much the night before but I like to think they assume I’m Misty May Treanor…or Nancy Kerrigan.
7 comments:
Another random number to throw your way: 106. The number of times you ran your fingers against the grain of said chops last night and squeaked "Look at you!"
Who better to hand your finances over to than a guy who looks like Ebeneezer Scrooge, am I right?
The best part of the Ocean's movies is that in one she actually plays herself...what movie star actually plays herself in a movie? Oh, what about when she played a, oh yeah, MOVIE STAR in that flick with the guy who does actually like LA hookers. Not that I ever saw it of course because it's a chick flick, but I heard about it. Yes, heard about it.
And don't forget when she played an actress in "America's Sweethearts" too. God DAMN I hate her.
Ah yes Keith, Notting Hill. Hooker-loving Hugh Grant also has Julia Roberts Syndrome.
How many movies has he played a fumbling single man that realizes at the end of the movie that...he needs love?
As Kristin and I discussed earlier, also on the list are Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.
I think she meant "be careful of Magneto," the x-men villain who's an old white guy with salt and pepper hair, a costume and a cape (which everyone knows is the superhero version of the suit and trench coat). I believe his real name is Bernie Madoff.
Random Thought to Your Random Thought:
Most weeks I crash at my friend's place in Cleveland Circle after a night of shitfacery. I have the a similar pattern to your gatorade-in-the-morning shtick. Except instead of gatorade, it's first a sausage egg and cheese at dunkin donuts, followed by a vitamin water at the corner 7-11. And instead of them thinking I'm an athlete, they realize I'm a hungover pale man that makes bad decisions. Like Michael Jackson. Except with of-age women and not underage boys.
I think my analogy broke down a while ago.
Call me nuts, but I never quite saw the fascination with Julia Roberts. She looked good in Pretty Woman, but more in a cute neighbor-next-door type of way. What has happened to our society that we anoint marginally cute women as A-listers? The wussyification of America continues. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.
I also am always a fan of an early morning gatorade(my flavor of choice is purple G-2.....I don't know what I drank before they invented that). Usually I am embarassed when it is a Wed. and I NEED one almost like it was a Sunday morning.....
And on another note I agree that I would rather give my finances (as little as they are) to a Wolverine look a like than a Business Man look a like.......
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