Monday, March 2, 2009

Once the pen hits the pad it's danger…to this I be no stranger


I had a lot of random thoughts go through my head today and I would like to share some with you.

Sharing is caring.

(Unless you are sharing needles...that is so dangerous! Didn’t you see RENT?! I did. It was TERRIBLE. I was really expecting something life changing but I couldn’t get past them singing “how are we gonna pay last year’s rent.” Last year’s rent? What? You haven’t paid your rent in a year?)

I think there is practically nothing more valuable in life than a sincere apology. You know what is not an apology? “That was months ago, get over it!” No. No I won’t because you’re still a jerk, today. You were a jerk months ago, you’re a jerk right now. In real-time.

Another favorite of mine is “I’m sorry you’re mad.” You’re apologizing….for my reaction? I don’t think you can do that. That is not effective at all. I’m sorry...you’re a jerk?

The one thing that might be more valuable than that is the ability to say thank you.

I think that if I went to find a roommate on Craigslist, I could convince that person to pay $200 towards my rent each month if I made dinner for him/her 3x a week. Unfortunately, the thought of living with someone random right now makes me sweat in my armholes, but I still think it’s a solid plan. I make a really good steak. I’ve also mastered homemade mac and cheese.

That kind of sounded like I was writing an online dating profile.

I had such an overwhelming craving for carrot cake today that if some 2009 extreme version of the Super Girl Scouts came selling carrot cake door-to-door, I would have paid $50 for one cake. I would have totally regretted it afterwards, but that’s what I do, make horrendous spending decisions and regret later. With cream cheese frosting breath. And red leather pants.

Sometimes I can hear the guys that live next to me…have… “conversations”…with girls. It’s a quiet building. Lucky for me (and unlucky for them) it never lasts that long. ZING!

Did it just get awkward in here?

I’m fairly confident that it was unnecessary for my landlord to snowplow behind my building (re: Right up against my apartment..first floor...windows unlocked! Come say hi!) at 6:30 this morning. There are no doors behind my building, access is completely unnecessary. I think this could have waited until mid-morning. How about you take that snow blower and go take care of my parking spot? I’m one of the six grey Honda Accords in my lot, I’m sure you’ll find it.

I recently experienced a merging of best home friends with best non-home friend and the result was a night where I have never laughed so hard in my whole life (also during a time when laughter, combined with alcohol, was a much needed medicine). I think my friends might be the funniest people in the world. Brilliant theories on life and relationships. Some may be posted here eventually. (Teaser! Be sure to tune in!)

Did you know most of my blog titles are song lyrics?

I’m obsessed with adoption. I once tried to convince my Dad to adopt “Wednesday’s Child” because the featured child on the interview was a teenage boy that wants to go to BC. My Dad said no and also reassured me that they would not let a 27-year old adopt a teenager. I will when I’m older though, I can’t help it. I can’t imagine being a teenager without a family.

And finally, for the record, I despise the use of any abbreviation for laughter. LOL, ROFL, LMAO, ugh. The one time I allllmost thought it was okay was when my Mum told me she thought LOL meant “lots of love.” That’s adorable! That is totally an acceptable use. Now, as it turns out, my Mum doesn’t actually think I’m funny as her text messages had led me to believe…but that’s okay because it just means she loves me. A lot. Perfect. That’s all I need. Serious face.

8 comments:

Andy said...

The point you made about apologizing for someone else's response is dead on but I always feel like it's a bit dicey when:

1) you're not really sorry, but
2) you know "I'm not sorry" isn't going to fix anything, and
3) you want to acknowledge that the other person is mad without being a jerk about it.

I will often say "I'm sorry you're (upset/angry/frustrated/pregnant) but..." and then explain why I think they shouldn't be mad. Or I just tail of after "but..." and bolt the other way. Especially if the it's the "pregnant" one.

Also, carrot cake is badass. And you're going to be one HELL of a mom one day, but...

(bolts)

Jon said...

There is only one food I love more than a perfect steak - a perfectly made mac n' cheese. What if I just paid you $200 per month to make 3 meals per week and bring them into the office? This way, you get to live alone and my wife doesn't have to wonder why I want to move in with you.

Anonymous said...

You could not be more correct about Rent. It is an abomination. Bitching about how they have to - you know - pay money to live somewhere.

F*ck the Vie Boem or whatever they call it. Maybe if they had spent some time working and earning a paycheck they would have had better things to do than to give each other AIDS.

Lisa Lisa said...

I've never heard Dan use such vitriol. I'm nervous.

Stacey / @Stacey4Crazy said...

There is no worse craving than carrot cake. You should always give in to that one. I think it is criminal when you find a carrot cake without cream cheese frosting. I had the craving recently. I indulged. I took my carrot cake into my bed and ate it. I'm not sure if I passed out in ecstasy or just plain feel asleep that night. This happens a lot.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that movie/play brings out the hate-mongerer in me. I am still livid that I wasted 2 hours of my life and $20 getting dragged to that.

CPotts said...

Carrot cake is the best. Katrina and I were going to have a layer of our wedding cake be carrot cake until the baker told us it most most likely cause the other levels to collapse because carrot cake is "heavier" (i.e., deliciously sinful). This was one of the decisions for our wedding that was VERY hard to make, but we decided not to get it. Silver lining? You betcha! The baker promised us a smaller carrot cake-version of our wedding cake on our 1st anniversary. It's may 10th... and we can't wait.

Lisa Lisa said...

Couldn't you just have the carrot cake layer be the bottom layer, with the lighter layers on top? You don't exactly have to be Frank Lloyd Wright to figure out that blueprint....